Truly, Vaffanculo
by Marshmallow Fudge Up
Summary: North and South Italy alike have been having issues economically. Their health is taking a toll because of it. How will Romano manage, both as a country, and as a human? What will he discover about himself, and his relationships? [Spamano with a side of Gerita]
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMERS**

Hetalia: Axis Powers © Hidekaz Himaruya

Truly, Vaffanculo © Marshmallow Fudge Up

I do not gain any profit from publishing this.

* * *

**WARNINGS **

*Romano's profanity

*Debatable subjects

* * *

**FEBUARY 10TH**

Just got out of a "discussion" with Napolitano. The old man wouldn't leave me alone. Kept bitching about how I wasn't cooperating. _Sì proprio_, I've heard it all before.

"Treat your women better!"

"Fix your justice system!"

"Stop being a bad boy, lower your crime rates!"

"Why can't you be as rich as your brother?"

"Quit whining about your politics!"

"The recession won't end!"

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Do any of these dumb fucks realize I represent them, and am this way because of them? My actions are only concrete once they actually decide to do something! And there I was, getting yelled at because of their mistakes! Maybe, just maybe, if they got off their lazy _culi _there wouldn't be an issue.

... Is that hypocritical of me? Aye, who the fuck cares? I sure as Hell don't...

That's exactly why I gave Boss #12 a bite of my thumb before I stormed off. I- I mean, Boss #11...

Whatever. Now I have a fucking migraine. Not that those are rare. I've gotten one at least once a day for the past twenty years. Shoot me now, economy.

I'm going to go take a _siesta_. That usually helps.

_**-** _LV

**TWO HOURS LATER**

Just woke up. My temples are still throbbing. Stupid fucking _cazzo_ sucking-

Dammit, someone's knocking on the door. Need to hide this annoying-

**THREE HOURS LATER**

It was Veneziano_. _He was crying because as soon as Boss #12 was done with me he moved onto him. I handled the situation like a man and told him to suck it up. He stopped sobbing instantly.

... Well, maybe I made some pasta... Gave him some of it... All of it...

Wh-Whatever. He's fucking annoying anyway. He's lucky he has a strong brother like me to comfort him-

- something that stupid German potato would ultimately fail at. Hah.

Onto another subject. For some reason, my headache is gone. Usually it gets worse when I'm around people, especially my counterpart. Maybe I'm finally getting better? I doubt it...

I dunno, all this thinking is making me tired. I'm just glad the pain has faded.

I'm going to go take a bath now. If I'm not back I probably drowned.

- LV

* * *

_sì proprio: _yeah right  
_culi: _asses  
_siesta: _nap  
_cazzo: _penis

* * *

**mallow: **

Haven't written a chapter story in a looong time, let alone one in first person. Please don't complain about the POV, it'll get changed every once in a while. If you didn't notice, it's in journal format. Yup. I'm gonna have fun with this.

Spent an hour looking up recent issues in Italy. I was shocked and saddened by what I saw. Sorry if there's inaccuracy, I tried the best I could while keeping my sanity.

Mainly gonna be Spamano with a side of Gerita with other minor pairings.

If people are confused with the "Boss #12" bit, Italy's only had 11 presidents... the 12th boss Romano was referring to was Spain.

Reviews are worshipped like God.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMERS**

Hetalia: Axis Powers © Hidekaz Himaruya

Truly, Vaffanculo © Marshmallow Fudge Up

I do not gain any profit from publishing this.

* * *

**WARNINGS**

*Romano's profanity

*Debatable subjects

* * *

**FEBRUARY**** 11TH**

The World Conference dragged on, like any other day.

Hamburger Gut was spouting off crappy ideas, and Eyebrows was complaining about them. Japan was nodding along with the obnoxious presentation, and Pervy Stubble was chuckling quietly to himself. Veneziano was clinging to the Potato Bastard, who appeared ready to snap. Belgium was poking at Netherlands' cheek, mumbling something to him. Turkey was kicking at Greece's chair legs.

Usually I take good, detailed notes because I can't rely on my _fratello _for anything- he's too air-headed. I tend to work for the both of us, and I get stuff done. Boss practically goes to me when it comes to that.

But today I was writing down shitty, worthless information. The room was stuffy and my collar was bothering me. It was hot and my temples were throbbing once more. It was odd because I normally get migraines after the meetings dissolve, and not during them.

Spain poked my side, saying something or other, and I absently swatted his hand away in annoyance. I then ignored him, suddenly feeling dizzy.

There was a stressed tightness in the room before it burst with Germany's hands slamming on the table top. I jolted in my seat, eyes darting towards the sound.

"ENOUGH! WE ARE HERE TO SOLVE CURRENT ISSUES, NOT TO DISCUSS ZOMBIE APOCALYPSES!" I had the urge to barf.

My gaze moved over to Veneziano, who sat next to the Potato Bastard, and I quickly realized that it wasn't just me who felt this way.

The room was quickly unraveling, so I took it upon myself to stand up and make my way over to my sick _fratello_.

"Come on," I spoke in Italian, standing above him. I tugged at his arm, a scowl on my face.

"_F_-_Fratello_..." he murmured, standing. He swayed on his feet, and I steadied him by placing a hand on his shoulder.

"_Andiamo_." I said with a frown, tugging at his soft sweater- polyester fleece. He was always colder than me during February. He nodded wearily and we started towards the door.

"Romano-" my name was called and I turned my head to see Spain heading in our direction. I glared, hoping it would fend him off. It didn't. "Where are you going?" he asked, stepping in front of us.

"We need to leave immediately." I stated as strongly as I could. I didn't look him in the eye. I stared at his shoulder instead.

"But-" he started to protest, but my raised hand made him pause.

"L- Leave us alone." I said, and stepped around him. Veneziano moved with me, and in that moment it was like the wind could push him over. I had to stay strong for the both of us.

"Lovino-" I ignored him, and the door closed behind us.

The taxi ride over to the hotel was hell. The driver wouldn't stop staring at Feliciano's ill form leaning against mine. Every pothole- every bump ad jostle- left me sweating and achy. My head throbbed like a bee sting, and pounded on like a drum. My sinuses were clogging up and my eyes were watering. It was almost like I was having an allergic reaction.

We managed to get back to our room. Feliciano instantly passed out on my bed while I wobbled into the bathroom. I searched around for my Advil or Tylenol when I remembered with horror that I left my medication back at home.

"_M__annaggia_," I gasped out, slumping against the sink for a moment. **_  
_**

The last thing I recall doing was crawling into bed with Feliciano, and then darkness.

* * *

_fratello: _brother  
_andiamo: _let's go  
_mannaggia: _damn

* * *

**mallow: **

Is there a plot? Is there a plot? Who knows?

Whelp, here's the next chappie. I'm pretty okay with it, but meh as well. I'm sorry if Romano seemed out of character, but I would be too if I were sick.

There is some deeper meaning to this, if you look. I mean, if you really wanna know and can't figure it out, I'll tell you, but I think it's pretty obvious. It's not much of a meaning, though. Just a "minor" detail about Romano's character.

I'm off to look for some more spamano fanfiction. Hmm. Maybe play minecraft. Idefk.

Bye~


End file.
